Do You Romanticize Your Goals?

Do you have goals or wants that you dream about but do not make progress on? It is possible you’re holding space for things you don’t truly want but love to speak about. How does romanticizing a goal keep you from actually attaining it? Watch the video to learn.

After you’ve watched the video, try doing this yourself! Write 3 Wants/Goals you haven’t moved on. Answer whether you romanticize it. Write what hardships you are willing to accept on the path to this goal and what you are not willing to accept. Full transcript below.

 

We’re going to do some homework. The topic is going to be how we romanticize goals and wants in our lives and that is what keeps us from actually achieving them. This morning I was talking to someone about this topic and I used this example: how people romanticize relationships when they are single. When you speak to someone who is single, they say they can’t wait to have a relationship because I can’t wait to wake up next to someone all of the time, or go on vacations with, or just have someone to do things with. That is what they focus on. As a veteran single person, I have the wisdom to know that if you’re choosing to be in a relationship, you are choosing all of the hardships that comes with a relationships. Its not that relationships should be hard, its that difficulty comes up when you have two people trying to work together in a more intimate way, right? The way I see it, if I want a relationship, I want the times we are trying to figure out how our differences of communication can work. I want the mundane, day to day just making dinner or watching tv. I want the times where we are figuring out how we grow individually but also together. Those are difficult conversations but they are great and I want that because I’d want that full relationship. That is how you grow into a successful and beautiful relationship. It is the same with everything. "I want to start my own business because I can’t wait to have my own hours and be my own boss, make more money, etc” but people forget that on the road to starting your own business you have sacrifice, financial hardship or stagnation. You have to give up certain parts of your life where you’re working longer hours because that is what starting a business is. But people romanticize the one part but forget the other parts. They want a promotion but they forget that with an increase in money comes an increase in responsibility. They want kids but they forget that kids are a lot of work. So we romanticize these ideas, wants and goals but the minute we run into any hardship, we stop. We take that as a sign that we are not supposed to be doing this thing. But its not that its a sign, its that you didn’t accept - choose the want of the hardship that goes into the goal. The fact is that the hardship is what grooms you and prepares you for the journey of the goal. Its what makes the goal even better. There are blessings that come from that growth, that hardship growth and there are blessings on the other side of that journey of being able to start your own business or whatnot. But because we do not fully accept the hardship that comes with it in a way that we almost want it, we do not fully accept the goal. So we don’t actually have a goal, we just have a thing that sounds really good to say that we want and it continues to be a thing we want forever but its always very far away. So the homework is to write 3 goals, 3 wants that you are not moving on. And I want you to write down why you are not moving on them. Have you just romanticized it? Have you actually run into enough hardship, enough barriers that you actually believe that you have received a sign that this is not the thing for you. Why isn’t this a goal you are moving on? Is it just something that is just nice to say. It is something that you want but you don't really, really want because you aren’t willing to sacrifice for it. You need to be really honest with yourself in this because its great to say you want to start your own business, but its a lot harder to say I also want to sacrifice my time at happy hours and going away for weekends and not spending money on frivolous things because I need to save money for my business. So you’re going to write 3 things that you want that are goals but you have not moved on them because you have romanticized them. Then you’re going to write down why you have romanticized them. What about them is the romance for you? And what hardships are in front of or are apart of that goal that you are not willing to accept. Then what hardships are apart of that goal that you will accept, that you want in addition to the goal. You’re going to write that down and later you can reevaluate whether those are true goals or whether those are things that you need to just cut and stop saying because its irrelevant to your life - you don’t actually want it. And I promise you, its almost like Marie Kondo, if you have something in your closet that you keep because you keep saying, “I can’t wait to fit into that again…I can’t wait to wear that again…I can’t wait to have something to wear that to” if you get that out of your closet and you remove it, you actually have less anxiety. I promise you of this. So getting rid of something that you love to say “I want”, it may seem like you’re giving up or failing but I promise you it opens space for actually having things you want or real goals that you really will move on. But right now, focus on the homework:

  1. At Least 3 Things You Want/Goals

  2. If You Romanticize Them or Not

  3. What Keeps You Romanticizing Them

  4. What Do You Romanticize About Them

  5. What Hardships Are You Willing to Accept

  6. What Hardships Are You Not Willing to Accept

  7. What Things You Want in Life with Hardships That You Are Willing to Accept?